feels like I'm drowning in my own fear, my own avoidance that builds up like bricks. the cement sealing together every other anxiety and thing I'm doing wrong. linking them like a chain. never ending, towering above me like the the empire state building. and before you know it I'm trapped in my own little box because i can't fix the path iv gone down, i can't break down the walls that iv build around myself. and any contemporary weapon of choice can do nothing to free me from myself. i can attack with no hammer, or swing with no sword. i can not repel with any rifle and i especially cannot plan a siege when there is no one that can know.
Friday November 13th
iliana
I miss you, and i hope my avoidance isn't contagious, you're my best--scratch that--the one I can count on/who i hope can count on me, i hope youre well and not being too hard on yourself. may we both come together soon, because in the eves of the holiday all i can think is i'm quite thankful for you, and our lengthy relationship friend.
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